Funny Chocolate Quotes

Ah, chocolate! The world’s favorite comfort food, heart-mender, and instant mood-lifter. But have you ever stopped amidst a cocoa-induced euphoria to realize that chocolate isn’t just a delicious treat—it’s also a comedic goldmine? Prepare to unwrap some of the finest, funniest, and (bittersweetly) truest sentiments about this universal delight. From quips about its therapeutic powers to jokes that you’ll want to savor like a fine truffle, our compilation of chocolate quotes is bound to leave you both amused and craving another square… or ten. Dive in, and let’s choco-late about it!

Best Chocolate Quotes

Those who invest in chocolate put their money behind bars.

Life is like a box of chocolates. Halfway through you realize you hate yourself.

Life is like a box of chocolates. Mine is in shambles because I lack self control.

Life is like a box of chocolates… It doesn’t last as long for fat people.

What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? Chocolate Chip Cookie.

life is like a box of chocolates…. it is destroyed remarkably fast by an emotional woman.

Chocolate comes from cocoa, which is a tree. That makes it a plant. Chocolate is salad.

Baby I’m like chocolate pudding… I may look like crap, but I’m as sweet as can be!

“Other foods are just food. But chocolate is chocolate.” – Patrick Skene Catling

“To the questions of life, chocolate gives an answer articulated in many cubes and flakes.” – Fabrizio Caramagna

“As long as there is chocolate, there will be happiness.” – Wayne Gerard Trotman

“Chocolate is the greatest gift to women ever created.” – Sandra Bullock

“Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world’s perfect food.” -Michael Levine

“Chocolate without sugar, sometimes can be bitter, but it will always be sweeter than a hurting truth.” – Carlos Barra

“Treat sadness with chocolate and laugh in the faces of passers-by!” – Marina Tsvetaeva

“Venice is like eating an entire box of liqueur chocolates all at once.” – Truman Capote

“Coffee makes it possible to get out of bed. Chocolate makes it useful.” – Anonymous

“Chocolate is ruin, happiness, pleasure, love, ecstasy, fantasy…” – Elaine Sherman

Chocolate says “I’m sorry” so much better than words. Rachel Vincent

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt. Charles M. Schulz

“Chocolate is cheaper than therapy, and you don’t need an appointment.

Jill Shalvis”

“What you see before you, my friend, is the result of a lifetime of chocolate.

Katharine Hepburn”

“Don’t wreck a sublime chocolate experience by feeling guilty.

Lora Brody”

In life, the rule of thumb is, don’t bite more than you can chew unless it is chocolate.

“I could give up chocolate but I’m not a quitter.

Lora Brody”

“Exercise is a dirty word. Every time I hear it I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

Charles M. Schulz”

“In the cookie of life, friends are the chocolate chips.

Salman Rushdie”

“Forget love — I’d rather fall in chocolate!


“Nine out of ten people like chocolate. The tenth person always lies.


“Happiness. Simple as a glass of chocolate or tortuous as the heart. Bitter. Sweet. Alive.

Joanne Harris”

“There are four basic food groups: milk chocolate,dark chocolate, white chocolate, and chocolate truffles.


“I never met a chocolate I could not eat.

Danielle Steel”

“Look, there’s no metaphysics on earth like chocolates.

Fernando Pessoa”

“If there’s no chocolate in Heaven, I’m not going.

Jane Seabrook”

“Caramels are only a fad. Chocolate is a permanent thing.

Milton Hershey”

“Nothing is more romantic than chocolate.

Ted Allen”

“The Greeks and Shakespeare wrote the greatest tragedies…neither knew chocolate.

Sandra Boynton”

“Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love.

Karl Petzke”

“When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

Regina Brett”

“Life is like chocolate: you should enjoy it piece for piece and let it slowly melt on your tongue.

Nina Sandmann”

“There is nothing better than a friend unless it is a friend with chocolate.

Linda Grayson”

“When we don’t have the words chocolate can speak volumes.

Joan Bauer”

“Biochemically, love is just like eating large amounts of chocolate. 

John Milton”

“Don’t think that chocolate is a substitute for love! Love is a substitute for chocolate.

Miranda Ingram”

“Moderation, honey, in all things but love and chocolate. That’s my motto.

Barbara Bretton”

Our bond is like a delicious chocolate treat – full of warmth and joy.

Our friendship is like a sweet treat; smoothing out any bitter moments in life.

“For me, it’s always easy to choose between the Ultimate, the Infinite, and the Chocolate.” — Ashleigh Brilliant

“Whether it’s chocolate or socks, the rule is the same; the darker the better.” — Pseudonymous Bosch

“I love watching keep-fit videos while munching chocolate chip cookies.” — Dolly Parton

“Making chocolate is a way of life, not a profession.” — Jacques Torres

“Chocolate doesn’t solve everything, Nana.” “It solves a whole heck of a lot, though.” — Gabrielle Zevin

“Life without chocolate is just an existence.” ― Sue Costello

“When I feel myself getting overwhelmed, I take a deep breath and eat a piece of chocolate.” — Adrian Grenier.

“Other things are just food. But chocolate’s chocolate.” —Patrick Skene Catling.

“Have a piece of chocolate today and feel like a queen or king!” — Mike O’Halloran.

“Nothing is as alluring as a piece of chocolate you can’t have.” – Nina Sandmann

Funny Chocolate Quotes

Chocolate has been humanity’s favorite guilty pleasure for centuries, effortlessly merging the worlds of dessert and deep thoughts. Let’s be honest: Who hasn’t, at one point or another, found wisdom at the bottom of a chocolate wrapper? These witty morsels of humor, just like the confections they celebrate, come in various flavors—some dark and bittersweet, others light and milky, but all undeniably rich in laughter.

Let’s begin with the age-old dilemma, “Is chocolate better than a lover?” While the answers may vary, one chuckle-worthy quote proclaims, “Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions; chocolate understands.” It’s almost poetic, considering that on many a lonely evening, a bar of chocolate has provided more comfort than any partner might! Another quip to consider, especially when those diet plans go awry: “Remember, stressed spelled backward is desserts.” And wouldn’t you know, there’s always that comforting block of milk chocolate waiting at the end of a hard day.

Then there’s the heartfelt confession many of us can relate to: “Chocolate is cheaper than therapy, and you don’t need an appointment.” Indeed, in life’s ups and downs, the reliable, endorphin-releasing properties of chocolate can often rival an hour-long session on the therapist’s couch. And for those who lean more towards the philosophical, consider this profound realization: “Nine out of ten people love chocolate. The tenth person is always lying.” After all, in a world full of uncertainties, the universal adoration for chocolate remains a delightful constant.

While chocolate itself is a luscious treat that dances gracefully on our palates, its comedic counterpart – the realm of funny chocolate quotes – offers an equally delightful jig, but on our funny bones. Whether you’re savoring a velvety truffle or chuckling at a cocoa-laden quip, remember: life is infinitely sweeter with a dash (or a whole bar) of chocolate humor.

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