Strap on your feathers and stretch those long legs, dear readers, because we’re about to embark on a pun-filled journey with the world’s most iconic flightless bird! Think ostriches are just giant birds with a penchant for burying their heads in the sand? Well, they’re also the stars of some egg-stravagant humor! From their fluffy plumes to their impressive sprinting speeds, ostriches offer ample runway for a parade of puns. Prepare to have your feathers ruffled with laughter because when it comes to ostrich puns, we’re not winging it – we’re running full speed ahead! Let’s dive, or rather, dart, into the pun-demonium! 🦢
Best Ostrich Puns
“Why do ostriches stick their head in the sand?
To look for the elephants who forgot to wear their sandals.”
What do you call an ostrich that practices magic? An ostwitch
“What have an Ostrich, a Pelican, and the tax man got in common?
They can all stick their bills up their arse.”
“Why did the emu lose all his friends when he grew a few feet taller?
Because he was ostrich sized.”
“Did you hear about that large flightless bird that was excluded from societal norms?
Apparently it was ostrich sized.”
“Why is an ostrich wealthy?
Because if it wasn’t it would be an ostpoor.”
What did the French ostrich say after laying a 4lb egg? Big oeuf
“Why couldn’t the ostrich fit in with the rest of the chickens?
It was ostrich-cized from the chicken coop.”
“I put a ” No Flyers” sign on my front door
The next day I was sent Two Emus and an Ostrich”
What do you call an ostrich going trough their emo stage? An emu.
“What do you get when a condor, an ostrich, and an eagle walk into a bar?
Three golfers lying about their game.”
What do you get when you cross an ostrich with a female dog? An osbitch
Did you hear about the Giraffe and Ostrich race? It was neck and neck.
What’s an ostrich’s favorite type of art? ‘Ostrich’-lecture!
“BREAKING: A dyslexic terrorist had stormed the zoo
He has taken 6 ostriches”
“I used to love telling jokes about penguins and ostriches
But it turns out they don’t really fly around here”
“I decided to keep an ostrich as a pet.
But after a few weeks I felt I was being ostracized and thought it best to give him to another home.”
“Why are ostriches grumpy?
Because they are emus.”
What do you call an ostrich that’s a fantastic dancer? An ‘ostrich’-Ronaldo!
“Why did big bird develop a complex?
Because he was ostrich-sized.”
“What do you call an ostrich that practices dark magic?
An ostwitch!”
“I put a “” No Flyers”” sign on my front door
The next day I was sent Two Emus and an Ostrich”
“Why did the chicken get kicked out of the coop?
Because it was ostrich-sized.”
“Did you know that the fastest animal on land is the ostrich?
Actually, it’s not but the fastest one is a cheetah”
“Why did the judge set the bail so low for the ostrich charged with assault?
He wasn’t a flight risk.”
“What do you call an ostrich that doesn’t have a father?
A bostrich”
“An ostrich is impregnated by an alien.
It gives birth to an Australian.”
“Did you hear about the race between the giraffe and the ostrich?
It was neck and neck the whole way.”
“Did you hear about the ostrich who was arrested?
He was let go, they didn’t think he was a flight risk.”
“Ostrich meat would be a market I could get into to make some good money…
but it probably wouldn’t take off.”
“What did the camel say to the ostrich?
Nothing, it can’t speak.”
“There’s an ongoing armed seige occurring at at the zoo…
The gunmen have taken a number of ostriches.”
“Did you hear the one about the turkey that was so big none of the other turkeys would play with him?
He was ostrich-sized.”
What was the ostrich’s reaction to Paul Manafort’s jacket? Not emused
The French chef’s apprentice really messed up when he dropped an ostrich egg on the floor. Big ouef
Did you hear about that large flightless bird that was excluded from societal norms? Apparently it was ostrich sized.
When ostriches are in a group it’s called a flock. But if they go at it alone they are ostracized.
I used to love telling jokes about penguins and ostriches But it turns out they don’t really fly around here
What did the man robbing the zoo say to the police? Don’t come any closer, I’ve got ostriches!
“An interesting title In high school kids used to say i resembled a large bird so they would exclude me from activities.
I guess that would make me Ostrich-sized”
I got head in the sand. Im an embarrassed ostrich.
Most can fly, but some, like penguins, ostrich, and emus, can’t.
That’s a bit of ostrich.
Ostrich after a workout.
What happened to the bird who was too big to fit in with the flock? He was ostrich-sized.
My friend tried to convince me that there’s a bird that can’t fly but can run faster than a human. But that sounds like a bit of ostrich, don’t you think?
I heard a story about a bird that hides its head in the sand when it gets scared. It’s a bit of an ostrich.
“I thought learning to play the bagpipes was hard, until I realized I was
just strangling an ostrich.”
An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.
How do you kill a weightlifting ostrich? You shoot it.
An ostrich commits grand heresy against the empire. He is promptly ostrichized.
What do you call the offspring of Rick Ross and an Ostrich? RickRosstrich.
What did all of the birds do to the bird that couldn’t fly? They ostrich-sized him
Why didn’t the fat duck have any friends? Because he was ostrich-sized.
“For over 30,000 years humans gave social “”likes”” by sharing beads made from ostrich eggs.
I guess you might call them emu-jis.”
“So I was going to blame my pet ostrich for a crime i committed
But my lawyer advised that it wouldn’t fly in court.”
What was the ostrich’s reaction to Paul Manafort’s jacket? Not emused
An ostrich commits grand heresy against the empire. He is promptly ostrichized. No? ok.
Ostrich Puns
Ostriches: the avian giants that seem to have sauntered out of a prehistoric era, balancing on twiggy legs and sporting an enormous, feathered body. Their very existence feels like a whimsical joke played by Mother Nature. And in this surreal setting, ostrich puns have found a niche that’s as deep and hilarious as the hole an ostrich might (mistakenly) be thought to bury its head in. You see, while many animals inspire a chuckle or two, ostriches are a veritable goldmine for witticisms. Why was the ostrich good at school, you ask? Because it always had its head in the books!
Ostriches might not fly, but ostrich puns certainly soar. Consider the bird’s impressively long neck which gives it a panoramic view of the savannah, perfect for spotting both predators and punchlines. “Why did the ostrich never lose at hide and seek? Because it always stuck its neck out!” Or think about those strong, muscular legs that can outrun most threats. They’re not just survival tools, but a testament to the bird’s ability to kick it up a notch, both in the wild and in humor. Picture an ostrich at a dance-off, and you might find it “bustling some moves” or “flaunting its two-left-feet”!
Diving even deeper, let’s discuss the egg-squisite eggs of the ostrich – massive, robust, and an epitome of nature’s grandeur. They’re not just breakfast material for a giant; they’re the perfect setup for some egg-ceptional puns. When an ostrich lays its egg, it’s not just a natural event; it’s a “big occasion.” And if you ever wondered what an ostrich’s favorite game is, it’s probably “egg and spoon race” – though, of course, giants are the only ones capable of holding those eggs!
In the vast savannah of humor, ostrich puns stand tall and proud. These flightless birds, with their quirky characteristics and larger-than-life personas, are a testament to nature’s sense of humor. Their majestic yet comical presence reminds us of life’s delightful contrasts and the joy of laughing at the unexpected. Whether you’re watching an ostrich sprint across the plains or simply imagining one jiving to its favorite tune, remember: in the world of puns, the ostrich is truly the feathered king, ruling over the land of laughter!