Pencil Puns

Welcome to the pointy-end of humor where we sketch out some giggles and shade in some chuckles! If you’ve been looking for a write-up that’s as sharp as a freshly sharpened No. 2, you’ve landed on the right page. Don’t let anyone tell you that pencil puns are pointless; they’re quite the draw. And just in case you think we’re lead-ing you on, fear not; we’ve penned the best pencil puns that are sure to make you pencil in some time for more laughter. Get ready to erase your worries, because humor is about to take the lead!

Best Pencil Puns

“Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?

It’s pointless.”

“Why did the rock star bring a pencil on stage?

He wanted to draw a big crowd.”

Where were pencils invented? PENCIL–vania

“Which hand is better to write with?

Neither! It’s better to write with a pencil.”

Why is a bad joke like a broken pencil?  Because it has no point.

“What do you call a story about a broken pencil?


“What’s the difference between your life and a pencil?

The Pencil has a point.”

Why do pencils shave? To look sharp.

Why did the pencil break up with the ruler? It couldn’t measure up!

What’s a pencil’s favorite exercise? Lead lifts!

“I’ve decided to marry a pencil

I can’t wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B”

Why did the pencil refuse to be an astronaut? It didn’t want to be weighed down by gravity!

“I thought about inventing a pencil with an eraser at both ends.

But I didn’t see the point.”

“How many Nihilists does it take to sharpen a pencil?

It doesn’t matter. There’s still no point.”

“I have a pencil that used to belong to William Shakespeare. He chewed it a lot.

Now, I can’t tell if it’s 2B or not 2B!”

Who is the king of pencil case? The ruler.

Where do vampire pencils come from? Pennsylvania.

Why did the pencil take up gardening? It wanted to draw inspiration from nature!

What is a pencil’s favorite sport?… Diving (the pencil dive)!

What did the math book tell the pencil?…. I have a lot of problems.

Why was the pencil lumbering?… It’s feet were full of lead.

Why did the pencil skip breakfast? It wasn’t sharp enough!

“A blind girl lost her pencil, her ring, and her dog, what did she lose first?

Her eye sight”

“I was rejected from my dream art school because I used the wrong pencil.

It wasn’t 2B.”

“Why did the pencil become a philosopher?

It always had a point”

“My wife has been penciling in her eyebrows lately… I think that she draws them a little high, so I told her.

She just looked at me surprised”

“What did the pencil say to the sharpener?

Without you, my life would be pointless.”

“Why is the eraser sold separately from the pencil?

Because you have to pay for your mistakes.”

why did the pencil stink? …because it was a No. 2

“I had to get my blood drawn at the doctors office the other day

And the nurse didn’t even bring her colored pencils.”

“What’s the difference between communism and a pencil?

The pencil works on things other than paper.”

“I refuse to use a pencil and a ruler on anything but paper…

that’s where I draw the line.”

A policeman came up to me with a pencil and a piece of very thin paper. He said, ‘I want you to trace someone for me.’

Do you know who won when the Pencil Rugby Club played the Pen Rugby Club? Neither, it was a draw.

Looking for a pencil, I asked in the local shop if they keep stationery. Chap said “I move around a bit”.

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why isn’t it #1?

The best wood in most golfer’s bags is the pencil.

What did the paper say to the pencil?… Write on!

How do pencils exercise?… Stationary Bike.

I got a job as a pencil sharpener… I would tell you about it but you wouldn’t get the point.

Why did the basketball player bring colored pencils s to the Final Four?… He wanted to draw fouls.

How does a pencil hire their workers?… He appoints them.

Why did the pencil get a speeding ticket?… He had a lead foot!

Why do Grizzlies break their pencils?… They BEAR down too heard!

What did the pen say to the pencil?… So, what’s your point!

Why did the pencil go to the library? It wanted to check out some new lead-ership books!

My pencil broke as I tried to draw a rectangle, making it a wrecked angle.

My house is a little sketchy looking with all of these pencil drawings lying around. 

Scissors get a little snippy whenever the pencil makes an excellent point.

How do pencils make decisions? They draw straws!

You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.

What did the pencil point say to the eraser? Destroy. 

What state do pencils like to visit? Of course it is pencil-vania.

“Why do mathematicians rarely experience constipation?

They can always use a pencil to figure it out if things get difficult.”

What did the gunfighter say to the pencil in a match? Draw!

What did the pencil say to the other pencil? “Hey, you look sharp.”

What did the sharper say to the pencil? Why don’t you come close? I need to make a point.”

What is the connection between John Wick and mathematicians? They are able to solve any issue with a pencil.

What happened to the pencil that was hurt in prison? Mid-sentence, it broke. 

The pen only lived up to half of its name, which is the primary distinction between it and the pencil.

I’m having a hard time trying to decide on which pencil to use for my English literature exam. 2B or not 2B – that is the question.

Did you hear about the constipated accountant? He used a pencil to budget

What’s a pencil’s favorite magic trick? Disappearing into the pencil case!

What do you call two pencils fighting? A grafight.

I have a joke about pizza and a broken pencil unfortunately it’s cheesy and pointless

How do you make a room darker with a pencil? Draw the curtains.

A man showed up for a duel armed only with a pencil and paper. He then proceeded to draw his weapon.

My Pikachu started eating paper clips, paint chips, pencils… When I asked her what’s wrong, she said “Pica. Pica.”

Why did the pencil join a rock band? It wanted to be the lead guitarist!

What did the pencil say to the sharpener? Stop going in circles and get to the point.

Pencil Puns

In a world where humor is ever-evolving, one might wonder if the straightforward pencil, an age-old tool of artists and authors, could be a reservoir of laughter. Well, for those who have never dabbled in the realm of pencil puns, brace yourself, because things are about to get pun-cil sharp! What might seem like a mere stick of wood and graphite to some is, to the enlightened, a treasure trove of wit waiting to be un-shaded.

Now, let’s address the first point on the agenda: understanding the intricate balance between wooden humor and lead-ing edge wit. While some might argue that pencil puns are for the not-so-bright, I’d say they’re just not looking at the right angle. Remember the time when one could raise eyebrows merely by questioning the mood of a pencil? “2B or not 2B?” Or how about when someone just couldn’t find their pencil, and the room echoed with, “It’s a pointless search!” These aren’t just jokes; they’re tales of nostalgia, transporting us to a time when humor was raw, real, and organic, much like the wood encasing the graphite.

The nuances of pencil-based humor are not just confined to its structure. Delve deeper and one finds the eraser, an underrated muse for jesters. Ever been in a situation where life’s mistakes felt irrevocable, only to be reminded, “Hey, at least you’re not written in pen!”? There’s a comforting metaphor in there: for every mistake, there’s an eraser, and for every sadness, a pencil pun to cheer you up. Indeed, pencil puns have an uncanny knack for sketching smiles even on the most solemn faces.

To wrap up this graphite-rich journey, one must commend the timeless essence of pencil puns. In an era dominated by digital memes and byte-sized gags, the humble pencil pun remains, challenging us to think, chuckle, and appreciate the simpler strokes of humor. Pencil puns remind us that sometimes, in the midst of life’s complex scribbles, it’s okay to go back to basics. So, the next time you hear someone say, “You can’t lead with that joke!” reply with, “Wood you believe, I just did!” After all, in the vast spectrum of humor, pencil puns are where wit meets grit.

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