Squirrel Puns to Go Nuts For: Funny Tails and Tales

Ah, nuts! If you thought you were just going to have a regular read today, you’re barking up the wrong tree. Welcome to the ultimate squirrel pun bonanza, where we go nuts about these bushy-tailed critters! Don’t be surprised if these puns drive you acorn-y, but in the end, it’s all in good fun. Ready to squirrel away some laughter? Then you’re in the right place, fur sure! Tail your friends about it, and let’s dive into the hilarious, nutty world of squirrel puns. Hold onto your hats – and your acorns – because we’re about to scamper through some pun-tastic territory!

Best Squirrel Puns

One day I saw a squirrel burying lotto tickets under a large bush, so I asked him what he was doing. He told me he was hedging his bets.

Sorry seems to be the hardest word to say… Unless you’re Chinese. Then it’s ‘squirrel’.

Why don’t squirrels have any friends? Because they drive everyone nuts.

What did the squirrel say to its baby before it had to leave? I’m gonna go out on a limb here.

Why did the bank have the squirrel arrested? He was foraging checks.

What do you call a squirrel with no nuts? A female squirrel.

Why don’t squirrels wear skinny jeans? Because their nuts won’t fit.

Why couldn’t the squirrel eat the macadamia nut? It was one tough nut to crack.

Why do squirrels swim on their backs? To keep their nuts dry.

What do the squirrels do when they are bored ? watch NutFlix

What did the squirrel say when his tail got caught in the door? “It won’t be long now!”

What did the tree say to the squirrel? “Just leaf me alone!”

What is a doctor for overweight squirrels called? A nut-tritionist.

What is the squirrel internet called? The nutwork!

What did one squirrel’s family say after he came back from the movie theater? “Tail us all about it!”

What do you call a squirrel that solves crimes? Squirrel-lock Holmes.

What did the squirrel say when he was late for work? “I’m sorry, but the traffic was absolutely nuts.”

If a squirrel and a raccoon were playing Scrabble, who’d win? The squirrel, because it has a “Q.”

What do you call a squirrel that goes to space? An astro-nut.

What famous squirrel tells the future? Nutradamus.

Where do squirrels go to learn? Elemen-tree school. 

Why don’t squirrels like rabbits? They’re always rabbiting on.

Why are squirrels’ good scientists? They live and work in the field

What did the squirrel say to the psychologist? I think i’m nuts. 

Why did the chicken cross the road? To show the squirrel it could be done

Why did the squirrel take her car apart? She wanted to see the nuts and bolts of it. 

I was short on food, so I just followed a squirrel so I could steal his nuts. It was plenty of work for two small pieces of meat.

A wise squirrel once said “you are what you eat”. Don’t believe him, he was a nut.

If squirrels could tell jokes, they’d be quick and to the point Because they’d be in a nut shell.

“Why were the deer, the chipmunk, and the squirrel laughing so

hard? Because the owl was a hoot!”

What does a squirrel like to eat for breakfast? Dough-nuts

Where do squirrels go when they have a nervous breakdown? – To the nut-house.

Why did the squirrel take up knitting? Because it wanted to make some cozy nut sweaters!

What is the best way to communicate with a squirrel? Climb up a tree and act like a nut!

Why was the squirrel a terrible painter? Every brushstroke was just a bunch of squirrelly lines!

Why did the squirrel become a gymnast? It wanted to be a tree-mendous acrobat!

How do squirrels talk to each other? They use “acorn-nect”!

What do you call a squirrel who can pick locks? A master key-nut!

How do squirrels pass messages to each other? They use a tele-nut system!

How do squirrels pay for their groceries? With cashews!

Why do squirrels like to sit on telephone poles? To stay away from the nuts on the ground.

How did the squirrel quit its job at the sap factory? It handed in its resin-nation.

Why are so many squirrels rich?  Because they are good at squirrellin away their money.

What did the romantic squirrel give to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? Forget-me-nuts.

What did the racing pigeon say to the racing squirrel? Don’t act like a nut and try to beat me because you walnut be able to go faster than me.

Do you know what type of TV squirrels watch? Well duh, Nut-flix!

What is a squirrels’ favourite cereal? Wheat-abix.

What did one squirrel say to the other squirrel when they went to the cinema?  I love our dates and I’m nuts about you.

Why did the bank manager ask the police to help him catch a squirrel?   Because the squirrel was suspected of foraging cheques.

What did the first squirrel say when the second squirrel put twigs in the frying pan?  What on earth are you doing? This is a non-stick pan! 

What do squirrels eat for breakfast? Crunchy-nut cornflakes.

What kind of stories do squirrels like? Long tails.

Why was the man measuring squirrels? He was critter-sizing.

Why didn’t the squirrel go home with the lady squirrel? He had never seen her-bi-vore.

Why was the squirrel’s fur messy? It was having a tuft hair day.

Why did the squirrel put chocolate on an acorn? It wanted a coco-nut.

How did the squirrel army escape the cat army? They wore cat-ouflage.

Why do squirrels see the future when it’s dark? They have great night vision.

What happened to the squirrel that ran into a group of cats? They gave it a clout.

What did one squirrel say to the other when he was caught hiding his acorns? “You saw nutting!”

Why do squirrels love pheasants? They’re always pleasant.

How long does it take for a crow to eat a dead squirrel on the road? It depends on the traffic

How do squirrels remember where their nuts are buried? They use acorn-yms

Where do Squirrels go during Hurricanes? It depends on which direction the wind is blowing.

Why did the squirrel get lost in the woods? It lost track of time and followed the wrong root.

What do you get if you cross a squirrel with a kangaroo? An animal that keeps its nuts in its pockets.

Why are squirrels not circus animals? They don’t like to work for peanuts.

Why did the squirrel pay a dentist one dollar? To get buck teeth.

How does a squirrel ask for a favor? Can you lend me a helping nut?

What do you call a squirrel that loves to play the piano? A Chopin nut!

What’s a squirrel’s favorite game? Hide and go nut-seek!

Squirrel Puns

Squirrels: those fluffy, acrobatic creatures, always darting across roads or eyeing your picnic with a glint of mischief in their beady eyes. Their antics are tail-tale signs of a creature begging for puns to be created in its honor. And boy, has the world of wordplay answered that call! Who’d have thought such a small creature could inspire such a vast expanse of humor? Well, I guess when you’re nuts about something, it’s easy to go overboard. And speaking of boards, have you ever seen a squirrel water-ski? No? Google it later. It’s pun-believably adorable.

Some might say that squirrel puns are just low-hanging fruit (or should I say, nuts?), but in the hands of a pun-connoisseur, they can be elevated to an art form. Consider the humble acorn: the squirrel’s dietary staple. In the pun world, it’s not just a seed, but a source of endless mirth. “Acorn-y joke here, acorn-y joke there,” some might sigh. But these puns really branch out when you consider how squirrels are true survivalists. They gather they hoard, and if they were part of human society, they’d probably be the ones with bunkers stocked for the next apocalypse – or at the very least, a pantry filled to the brim with nutty snacks.

There’s also something inherently comedic about the squirrel’s frenetic energy. Their unending quest for food, their mad dashes across lawns, and their gravity-defying leaps and spins make them the perfect comedians of the animal world. They might be tiny, but their personalities are larger than life. So, when someone tells you a squirrel pun, remember: it’s not just a play on words. It’s a nod to the zany, unpredictable, and utterly delightful nature of these small mammals. Whether you find these puns to be the pinnacle of humor or just a nutty diversion, there’s no denying that squirrels have carved out their niche (and dug many holes) in the realm of comedy.

Ssquirrel puns are more than just a fleeting joke. They remind us of the joy, unpredictability, and humor in nature. Squirrels might scamper by in a flash, but the chuckles they inspire? Those linger. If you ever find yourself in a tough spot or on a dreary day, just remember these punny creatures. They teach us to find humor in the small things, to leap fearlessly (even if it’s towards an unknown branch), and above all, to never underestimate the power of a good nut… or a great joke!

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