Dad Jokes

New Years Dad Jokes

Welcome, readers, to a new year bursting with promise, resolutions, and… dad jokes? That’s right! When the clock strikes midnight, while some of us are out watching fireworks or singing Auld Lang Syne, the world’s dads are busily crafting puns to kickstart our year with laughter (and a touch of groaning). So, if your New Year’s resolution was to smile more or exercise those eye-rolling muscles, you’ve come to the right place. Buckle up for a light-hearted journey through the quirkiest New Years Dad Jokes. Remember, these are best served with a side of dad-dancing! 🎉🥳🕺

Best Dad Jokes About New Year

We ordered some takeaway. It arrived at 5 past midnight. My father said: “We should get a discount on this, we’ve been waiting since last year!”

Hi. Tired of new year jokes? But I want to tell you one. one

“You should clean your room, it’s been a mess the whole year”

My husband told our 4 year old he could just play xbox next year instead of again this evening.

Don’t forget “I haven’t seen you since last year” at 12:01am Jan 1st.

“after it turns 12:00 AM on January 1

“”your mother, I haven’t seen her ALL YEAR!”””

“after it turns 12:00 AM on January 1

“”Man, I’m so hungry, I haven’t eaten ALL YEAR!!”””

“after it turns 12:00 AM on January 1

“”WOW, we’ve been watching this TV ALL YEAR!!”””

“after it turns 12:00 AM on January 1

“”Don’t drink that milk, it’s from LAST YEAR!”””

““I promise not to make any bad jokes for the rest of the year.”

A dad on New Year’s Eve.”

“Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve.

Middle age is when you’re forced to.”

“What New Year’s resolution should a basketball player never make?

To travel more.”

“Did you hear about the guy who started fixing breakfast at midnight on Dec. 31?

He wanted to make a New Year’s toast!”

“Why did the man sprinkle sugar on his pillow on New Year’s Eve?

He wanted to start the year with sweet dreams.”

“Knock Knock. Who’s there? Radio.

Radio who? Radio not, its a new year.”

“What should people never eat on New Year’s Eve?

Fire crackers.”

“In what year did Christmas Day and New Year’s Day fall in the same year?

Every year!”

“What’s the one group that hates New Year’s Day?

The New Year’s Eve clean-up crew.”

“What happened to the woman who stole a calendar on New Year’s Eve?

She got 12 months.”

“What did the cat say on New Year’s Eve?


Why did Dracula pass out on New Year’s Eve? There was a count down.

What is a New Year’s resolution? Something that goes in one year and out the other.

What is corn’s favorite holiday? New Ears Eve.

What’s a cows favorite holiday? Moo Year’s Eve

Some astronauts wanted to have a New Year’s party on the moon, but they didn’t planet in time.

What’s the luckiest band to listen to on New Year’s Day? Black-Eyed Peas

Why do you need a jeweler on December 31? To ring in the New Year.

What does the little Champagne bottle call his father? Pop!

What did the bull say on January 1? Happy New Steer.

My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’ll start tomorrow.

What do snowmen like to do on New Year’s Eve? Chill out.

What do New Year’s Day parades have in common with Santa Claus? No one is awake to see either of them.

Where can you go to practice math on New Year’s Eve? Times Square.

My New Year’s resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year’s resolution.

Where can you find comedians on New Year’s Eve? Waiting for the punch line.

What did the ghost say on Jan. 1? Happy Boo Year!

This New Year’s, I’ve resolved to lead a better life. Now all I have to do is find someone who will trade lives with me.

What do you call always wanting a date for New Year’s Eve? Social security.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Abby. Abby who? Abby New Year.

I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new year, but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter.

What is the digital camera’s New Year’s resolution? 1080p.

What do you use in the bathroom on Jan. 1 after No. 2? A New Year’s bidet.

What do you call someone named Stephen on Dec. 31? New Year’s Steve!

What’s the worst part of jogging on New Year’s Eve? The ice falling out of your drink!

How did Prince celebrate the new millennium? He partied like it was 1999.

What does a field grow on Jan. 1? New Year’s hay.

What was Dr. Frankenstein’s new year’s resolution? To make new friends.

What did Che Guevara make on New Year’s Day? A New Year’s revolution.

What do you tell someone you didn’t see on New Year’s Eve? I haven’t seen you since last year!

Knock knock! Who’s there? Razor. Razor who? Razor glass and toast to a happy new year.

New Year? I just got used to this last one!

What did the woman say when she was offered a raisin on New Year’s Eve? “No thanks, I already have a date.”

May all your troubles last as long as your New Year resolutions.

When did the New Years’ baby’s voice change? When his ball dropped.

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.

What happened to the Irish man who thought about the evils of drinking in the New Year? He gave up thinking.

My resolution was to read more so I put the subtitles on my TV.

 An iPhone and a firework were arrested on New Year’s Eve. One was charged and the other was let off.

Knock, knock.Who’s there? Radio. Radio who? Radio not, it’s a New Year.

Why should you put your calendar in the freezer? To start off the new year in a cool way.

What does the Easter Bunny say on New Year’s Day? Hoppy New Year!

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hannah. Hannah who? Hannah Happy New Year!

What was the caterpillar’s New Year’s resolution? To turn over a new leaf.

Why should you have your left foot in the air on New Year’s? To make sure you start the new year on the right one!

What does a ghost say on New Year’s? Happy boo year!

Why should you never make fireworks angry on New Year’s? You might just set them off!

What’s the one type of pain that’s enjoyable on New Year’s? Cham-pain!

Why do you want someone with a bubbly personality at the New’s Party? They always bring Champagne!

What was the brewery’s end-of-year Instagram caption? Happy Brew Year!

What does every New Year have in store for us? Another 365 days!

New Years Dad Jokes

Ah, New Year’s – that time of year when the world unites to celebrate the passage of time, while simultaneously striving to shed off old habits, or perhaps just those extra holiday pounds. For many of us, it’s a time of profound reflection, promises, and… dad jokes? Yep, you heard it right! There’s no calendar event too grand for dads to, quite literally, “ring in” with their inimitably pun-tastic humor. Indeed, if there were an unofficial torchbearer of the New Year, it would undoubtedly be a dad, probably named Bob, armed with a horde of knee-slapping, groan-worthy jokes.

Now, why is the New Year such fertile ground for dad humor, you might wonder? To understand this, let’s delve into the Dad Joke psyche. You see, dads have an innate desire to inject levity into any occasion. And New Year’s, with its blend of earnest resolutions and optimism, sets the perfect stage. Think about it: when someone declares, “This year, I’m going to cut out sugar,” it’s almost an invitation for Dad to quip, “Sugar’s not the problem, it’s those sweet dad jokes I keep serving!” It’s as if the universe conspires with dads, setting up the pins of solemnity only for them to bowl over with their zingers.

There’s a comforting, unchanging rhythm to the New Year’s Dad joke phenomenon. Just as you can be sure that at the end of the countdown, fireworks will erupt, you can bet your last cent (which you hopefully haven’t spent on holiday shopping) that dads worldwide are preparing their repertoires. Whether it’s puns about the passage of time (“Time flies, but not as fast as me chasing the ice cream truck!”), or jests around New Year’s resolutions (“I resolved to tell better dad jokes, but I guess that ship has sailed… just like last year!”), one thing’s for sure: our beloved fathers never miss a beat.

While New Year’s is about many things – fresh beginnings, hope, and the mysterious disappearance of socks in the laundry (one mystery we hope the next year will solve) – it’s also about cherishing those light-hearted moments. So, the next time a dad offers up a New Year’s joke, don’t groan too loud. Remember, they’re doing their part to make sure the coming year is filled with smiles, chuckles, and yes, a lot of head shaking. Cheers to the unsung heroes of humor!

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